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美国留学:看经典Essay模板如何写出招生官想看的东西?

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文书写作一直以来申请美国大学时的重头戏,可以说是除了GPA和标化成绩等硬性指标,最为灵魂的当属Essay!作为美国大学申请中最重要的材料之一的Essays,如何写Essays是大家头疼的一个问题,如何写出招生官喜欢的东西更是难上加难,今天给大家推荐2篇college Essays经典模板,大家可以借鉴一下,看看是如何打磨出彩的Essays的。

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文书写作一直以来申请美国大学时的重头戏,可以说是除了GPA和标化成绩等硬性指标,最为灵魂的当属Essay!作为美国大学申请中最重要的材料之一的Essay,如何写Essay是大家头疼的一个问题,如何写出招生官喜欢的东西更是难上加难,今天给大家推荐2篇college Essays经典模板,大家可以借鉴一下,看看是如何打磨出彩的Essay的。


美国留学:看经典Essays模板如何写出招生官想看的东西?


>>>美国名校招生官最想看到的Essay是怎样的?有没有写作技巧


Essay是一种简短的书面写作,文章通常是5至7段,但可以是任何长度。它包含一个明确的介绍、主题和结论。essay通常不涉及引文,而是基于一个人的角度来看待人和事,通常是从第三人称的角度进行论述。


名校为何看重Essay?


Essay最重要的目的是为了让招生委员会更深入、更全面地了解申请人的情况。大致来说,一篇好的Essay,可以让招生官感受到申请者以下的素质:

激情 passion;

领导才能 leadership;

动力,上进心 determination;

正直 integrity……


我们先来看两个经典范例:


>>>前耶鲁招生官告诉你真正的essay要怎么写?


范例1


From the time I was able to realize what a university was, all I heard from my mother's side of the family was about the University of Michigan and the great heritage it has. 


Many a Saturday afternoon my grandfather would devote to me, by sitting me down in front of the television and reminiscing about the University of Michigan while halftime occurred during a Michigan Wolverines football game. 


Later, as I grew older and universities took on greater meaning, my mother and uncle, both alumni of the University of Michigan, took me to see their old stamping grounds. From first sight, the university looked frightening because of its size, but with such a large school comes diversity of people and of academic and non-academic events.


In Springfield High School, non-academic clubs such as the Future Physicians and the Pylon, both of which I have belonged to for two years, give me an opportunity to see both the business world and the medical world. These two clubs have given me a greater sense of what these careers may be like. In Future Physicians, I participated in field trips to children's hospitals and also participated in two blood banks.


Currently I hold a job at Maas Brothers. This lets me interact with people outside my own immediate environment. I meet different kinds of people, in diffrent moods, with different attitudes, and with different values. This job teaches me to be patient with people, to have responsibility, and to appreciate people for what they are.


In the community I am active in my church Youth Group. As a high school sophomore, I was our church's representative to the Diocesan Youth Fellowship. I helped organize youth group events, the largest being "The Bishop's Ball," a state-wide event for 300 young people. I also played high school junior varsity soccer for two years. 


As a senior I will be playing varsity soccer, but in the off-season. As a junior I coached a girls' soccer team for the town. This gave me a great deal of responsibility because the care of twenty-four girls was put into my custody. It felt very satisfying to pass on the knowledge of soccer to another generation. The girls played teams from other parts of Florida. Though their record was 3-8, the girls enjoyed their season. This is what I taught them was the greatest joy of soccer.


The past three years of my life have given me greater visions of my future. I see the University of Michigan as holding a large book with many unread chapters and myself as an eager child who has just learned to read. I intend to read and probe into all the chapters. 


The University of Michigan offers me more than the great reputation of this fine school, but a large student body with diverse likes and dislikes, and many activities, both academic and non-academic, to participate in. With the help of the University of Michigan, I will be successful after college and be able to make a name and place for myself in our society.


>>>Essay没有亮点,如何来挖


范例2


My most important experience sought me out. It happened to me; I didn't cause it.


My preferred companions are books or music or pen and paper. I have only a small circle of close friends, few of whom get along together. They could easily be counted "misfits." To be plain, I found it quite easy to doubt my ability to have any sort of "close relationship."


After the closing festivities of Andover Summer School this past summer, on the night before we were scheduled to leave, a girl I had met during the program's course approached me. She came to my room and sat down on my bed and announced that she was debating with herself whether she wanted me to become her boyfriend. She wanted my reaction, my opinion.


I was startled, to say the least, and frightened. I instantly said, "No." I told her I on no account wanted this and that I would reject any gestures she made towards starting a relationship. I would ignore her entirely, if need be. I explained that I was a coward. I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with a relationship. I talked a lot and very fast.


To my surprise, she did not leave instantly. Instead, she hugged her knees and rocked back and forth on my bed. I watched her from across the room. She rocked, and I watched. Doubts crept up on me. Opportunity had knocked and the door was still locked. It might soon depart.


"I lied," I said. "I was afraid of what might happen if we became involved. But it's better to take the chance than to be afraid."


She told me she knew I had lied. I had made her realize, though, how much she actually wanted me to be her boyfriend. We decided to keep up a relationship after Andover.


Even then, I was not sure which had been the lie. Now I think that everything I said may have been true when I said it. But I'm still not sure.


I learned, that night, that I could be close to someone. I also realize, now, that it doesn't matter whether or not that person is a misfit; the only important thing is the feeling, the closeness, the connection. 


As long as there is something between two people — friendship, love, shared interests, whatever else — it is a sign that there can be some reconciliation with fear, some "fit" for misfits. And it shows that fear need not always win, that we can grow and change, and even have second chances.


>>>如何摆脱学校老师最忌讳的套路写作?


如何提高Essay写作效率?


当然是快刀斩乱麻,写的越快越干净越利索最好!建议作业布置下来的一周内去完成它。经常有同学喜欢在deadline前几天才开始动笔,这是不提倡的,因为这样做强度很大,而且有可能来不及修改,导致同学们得低分。


好的文书需要有以下几个小步骤,不妨来看一下吧!


1、头脑风暴


万事开头难,在下笔之前对文书的整体构思是最难的。


不妨先在脑海中将自己的个人特点和优势进行一波头脑风暴吧,深入地分析下自己发掘自己的闪光点。


2、列大纲写初稿


当你把自己所有的特点或者想写的点确定好之后,就可以开始列大纲写初稿了。

初稿不需要完美,只需要将所有的点表达出来就好,换句话说,就是不管多烂,先写一稿出来。


3、丰富essay的三大块


文书通常分为开头、正文、总结三部分。开头一段引入自己的主题,正文结合事例表述观点,最后一段总结。


4、试着让自己的文书具体化


这里的具体化指的是在描述自己的个性特征是采取的事例一定要真实而具体。


>>>申请文书如何才能让学校老师眼前一亮?


5、切入点要独特


比如,可以用有趣的故事或者跟学校相关的历史或趣味来切入自己为何适合这所学校。


6、essay要真实


无论essay的题目是问你的优点、特长、影响你的经历还是为什么要选择这所学校,回答的时候都要保证真诚。


7、修改


essay写完之后就是无尽的修改了,同学、朋友、家长、老师等等都可以帮你修改,除了语法和书写错误之外,重点是问问他们看到文书的感受,是否能够真实表达自己的心声。


OK?以上这些小技巧,你get到了吗?


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